Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
