he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
