I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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