honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
