So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
