Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am available for nakedness
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
