I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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