If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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