No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
