Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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