I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize