is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
