woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
