just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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