I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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