i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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