You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
