You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
