The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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