she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
