Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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