Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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