Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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