the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
