There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
