So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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