She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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