I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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