Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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