I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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