Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
