just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
