I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
