We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just found puke in my bra..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
