I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
