he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want nice things and good sex
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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