So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Panties = found
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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