I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
