She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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