I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
