everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
birth control should be required to get into college
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
