Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it's like heaven, but drunker
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
