i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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