This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
