happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
