I think I won the penis lottery.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
