Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
