You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
FUCK WHALES
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