found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
