Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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