So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
