I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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