I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
