can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
