my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
