i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
