i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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