new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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