She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I need water and some morals
Randomize
