I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
