I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
