The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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