Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
