the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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